she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
