You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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