We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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