so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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