i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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