I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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