Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
