nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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