somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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