I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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