the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
