is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
