guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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