so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
