Pappa wants mamma naked
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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