at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
