i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
