Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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