I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
