I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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