im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize