butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
