They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
