I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
