My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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