i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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