Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
In America we eat man semen.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
