Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Green mimosas i think yes
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
