someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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