so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize