I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
