Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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