If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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