I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize