My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
