marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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