Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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