i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
