Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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