He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
