can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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