but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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