if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
