Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't turn off my feet"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
