Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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