so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The air was thick with penises
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
