Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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