Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
