DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
