i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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