Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
