so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
