Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
