Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
