She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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