dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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