Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i would punch a child for taco bell
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
