if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if only i could text you this smell
I wish you could order shots online.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
