Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
