Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
