Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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