Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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