...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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