THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
