if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize