Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
